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servant rosaries confronting cancer with prayer

mom The Story
In July of 1998 my mother was diagnosed with Adenocarcinoma, one of three types of non-small cell lung cancer. We were all stunned by the news since my mother had always been very active, vigilant about her health, and a non-smoker. On July 27th of that year, she underwent a partial lung resection and remained relatively symptom free for the next 5-years. However, almost five years to the day of her initial diagnosis, we were informed that the lung cancer had metastasized to the base of her spine. After two rounds of radiation, a valiant effort at chemo, and an obstinate frontal attack on this terrible disease, she was released to in-home hospice care on October 18th, 2005. Medically, she had run out of options.

I took a leave of absence from work and assured my mother that she would not be alone at the time of her death. Providentially, my mother’s sister is a retired nurse and with the help of some remarkable hospice volunteers we were able to provide the 24-hour palliative care that she needed in the privacy and comfort of her home. Lucille Arbour Paré died on Monday, January 9th, 2006, at 8:00 PM.

Those weeks and months between October 18th and January 9th were the most trying and most blessed of my life. By God’s grace, we accepted that fact that there would be no miraculous physical healing, no medical reprieve. The end was in sight; she had fought the good fight and was now embracing her final days, however difficult, with meekness and resolve.

I believe that the cross is a place of transformation, that there is meaning in suffering, and in learning to let go we can possess untold treasure. Day after day, I witnessed my mother’s radiant transformation as she faced the challenges set before her and dared to believe that God was with her, and that nothing would separate her from his love and mercy, not even death.

My mother loved being alive; she was fully engaged in life and never gave up nor did she ever stop caring. She did not seek suffering; but when it presented itself she was able to accept it with grace and dignity which of itself was an extraordinary answer to prayer. Certainly, we would have loved to see her physically restored, but God alone knew what, in light of eternity, my mother was most in need of.